Family Health By Design

Empowering families be to live life with passion and purpose

June 30, 2019
by mikelovesjp
0 comments

Disciplining Your Children Can Be Very Challenging

Five ways to discipline your children and keep communication flowing.

Discipling your children can be very challenging at times and deciding how to discipline a child can be one of the hardest parts of being a parent. We all want our kids to grow up to be respectful and responsible adults that know how to communicate effectively. So how do we decide which forms of discipline to use that will accomplish our goal?

I remember several times when I was a kid where my mother asked me to do something and I told her I did not want to do it and even asked her why I had to do it, and her response was because I told you to. I also remember her adding if you don’t do your chores you won’t be able to go over your friend’s house tomorrow.

I can also remember when my two sisters and I were teenagers and were just getting introduced to drugs and alcohol how frustrating it must have been for my mom to raise 3 kids as a single mom and deal with all our stuff. Looking back I know my mom did the best she could with what she had and every parent is doing the same. They are only doing what can with what they have been taught to do by their parents.

I have also heard of parents that do not put up with any backtalk at all from their kids and just immediately resort to physical discipline.

Looking back 30 years ago I can remember the day we became foster parents to my 6-year old nephew Lonnie and after putting him to bed that evening my wife and I looked at one another and said: “what have we done we don’t have any experience raising a child”.

One of the keys to our success with our new son is my wife and I created a game plan ahead of time. We set rules and we carefully explained the rules below to our son.

  1. If you ask Mom for permission to do something and she says no, don’t bother asking me because I trust your mother’s judgment.
  2. If you make a mistake or break something let us know right away and don’t try to hide it.
  3. If you are upset about something please come and tell us, what you are upset about so we can help you work through what is upsetting you.
  4. When he became a teenager we gave him permission that if he drank too much to call us and we would gladly pick him up no matter what time it was.
  5. When we did had to resort to physical discipline we would wait until all tempers cooled and then we would go to his room and explain to him why we had to discipline him and that was only to help him make a better choice next time.

I know it is different to become a  parent with a 6-year old than a baby but by following these rules and sharing them with my son in advance we saved everyone a bunch of time, energy and had a lot of fun being parents.

Father and his Son

Five ways to discipline your children and keep communication flowing.

  1. Remember to not take the child’s actions or attitude as a personal attack on you or your spouse and to stay unemotional when disciplining.
  2. When your child does break a rule let them know that you love them and to discipline them by denying a future privilege. For example, if your child was supposed to be home by 9 pm and he or she got home late let him or her know that you are glad they are home safe, but because they were late they will be disciplined in the near future.
  3. When you discipline your child and they complain saying that’s not fair,  just respond with I know it doesn’t seem fair but that is how we choose to discipline you for not being home on time.
  4. Discipline the actions, not the emotions.
  5. After you discipline your child to affirm your love for your child and encourage them that you are always there for them to talk about the challenges they are facing and no topic is off limits.

For a great list of child discipline type please refer to 5 Different types of child discipline.

I learned how to control my thoughts through the 7 Day Mental Diet and the Master Key Experience.

If you would like to learn how to create a business working from home check out my course here at Tapas For Life.

Leave me a comment about your experiences with raising your kids, what worked and what didn’t work.

#Familyhealthbydesign

Photo provided by https://www.coastalvacationrentals.net

June 15, 2019
by mikelovesjp
5 Comments

Daycations Are a Great Way to Break Up the Work Week

Photo provided by https://www.coastalvacationrentals.net

Weekly Daycations are a great way to take a break from work in the middle of the rush to finish that project or meet some other deadline. A daycation is a vacation that only lasts one day.

Sometimes we just go to a local beach like Avila Beach for the day and play tourist.

I have found these mini vacations with my wife have been a wonderful time of fun, laughter, and memories.

Last year in December we planned a day where we would have lunch at Andersen’s Split Pea restaurant drive to the small town of Solvang and do a Nisse treasure hunt. We had a wonderful time at lunch using a buy one get one free coupon, hunting for the Nisse and ended the evening with dinner at a local supermarket where we had a coupon for a free large coffee, a free sandwich with a $10 purchase and picnicking in our car.

You can find information on the Nisse hunt below.

Nisse Adventure

November 29, 2019-January 5, 2020
Solvang Visitor’s Center

Explore Solvang and see if you can find those mischievous elf-like Danish figures, the Jule Nisse to win a prize. This is a fun free, self-guided activity that families can do at their own pace.

Throughout the entire month of December, these festive little gnomes will be hidden in different locations around Solvang with a map providing clues to each location. Once you find all of the Nisse, return to the Solvang Visitor’s Center for a prize!

Have some fun with the Jule Nisse puzzle, click on the image to access the puzzle.

By scheduling a Daycation each month of the year you will be building new family traditions and get that much-deserved vacation even if it is broken up into 12 little vacations.

In May my wife and I had to drive up to the San Francisco Bay Area to get a certified marriage certificate so my wife could get a real ID and we turned it into an opportunity to visit all the homes we lived in from San Carlos, CA the year we were married 1988 to Palo Alto, CA in 1989. We left home at 11AM on Friday and returned home at 10PM on Saturday. We were only away for 20 hours but it felt like we were gone for a couple of days. Each place we stopped brought back a flood of wonderful memories that we have shared over the years.

For the month of June, we are planning a trip to Carmel, CA and visit the shops and restaurants we frequented while we were dating, like this little cafe.

Cafe in Carmel
Image courtesy of https://travel.usnews.com/static-travel/images/destinations/270/cafe_in_carmel-by-the-sea.jpg

So be adventurous and plan a day trip with your sweetheart each month of the year.

Would you like to create time for more daycations? Check out my course Create a Business Working from Home

Please leave me a comment of where you plan to visit.

June 8, 2019
by mikelovesjp
10 Comments

Thirty-One Years of Marriage and Still in Love

Today is my thirty-first wedding anniversary and I am still very much in love with my wife.

I still remember the day we got married like it was yesterday and when I reminisce about that day all the feelings of love and joy fill my heart along with the faces of all the guests. It was the most magical day of my life, it also seemed like it was over in the blink of an eye but it will forever be the anchor that keeps me grounded through the storms of life.

Where we got married 31 years ago.

Looking back on the last thirty-one years I can honestly say the good times definitely out way the bad. I can remember three times in my marriage where I really felt lost and began crying out to God for help and hope.

1. When I did not like my job working in IT anymore and felt frustrated because I was making good money but my work just wasn’t fulfilling anymore.

2. When I lost my health and wellness business after two years in business and thousands of dollars in lost revenue.

3. When Valerie was in the hospital for three weeks with a rare disease called Wegner’s GPA. 

All the arguments and little misunderstandings were a piece of cake compared to those three events.

In 2014 I learned some very valuable tools that have really improved the communication between Valerie and I. Tools that would have saved us hours of time separated arguments or misunderstandings caused by the lack of our ability to communicate effectively and ended up with one of us giving the other the silent treatment.  Tools I would have loved to have known about when I was twenty years old.

Five tips that can help you and your spouse communicate more effectively.

  1. Talk about your feelings to the other person who hurt you even if you have to preface the conversation with “What I’m going to say may upset you.”
  2. To listen to issues objectively. (We listen and see people through filters. These filters are called Already Always Listening.)*
  3. To always pursue a win-win for each person in the relationship.
  4. Learn to control your thoughts. By learning to control your thoughts you gain control over your feelings and your actions. You can learn how to control your thoughts through the 7 Day Mental Diet
  5. Forgive everyone. Forgiveness has to do with oneself, with feeling good and stopping the punishment from going beyond reflection and learning. Forgiveness is really characterized by:
  • Freeing hard feelings or resentment
  • Healing wounds, getting rid of scars
  • Making the choice to start being in a better mood
  • Helping yourself concentrate your attention on the positive aspects
  • Giving yourself a great opportunity: to start over with a clean slate
  • Freeing yourself: it is your choice, do not forget that you have control of your feelings

These five tips have given me the power to overcome and eliminate misunderstandings that would plague me for days or even months.

For more information about the concept of Already Always Listening please visit. already-always-listening

Please leave a comment.

May 16, 2019
by mikelovesjp
12 Comments

Are you Thinking of Retirement? Will you have Enough to Live on?

When I retire I ‘ll spend more time with my granddaughter.

Are you planning to retire from your job anytime soon?

Will your retirement income give you enough to live on or do you have investments in place to make up the difference?

These are all questions I have been researching for myself and what I found was shocking! One survey found that 42% of Americans will retire broke. Why?
According to the Pew Research Center, the average paycheck has the same purchasing power it did 40 years ago.
Day-to-day costs continue to soar, and salaries don’t go as far as they once did to cover the necessities.
Still, the longer you put off planning for your golden years, the farther behind you fall according to another source.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/27/1-in-3-americans-have-less-than-5000-dollars-saved-for-retirement.html

Some people are depending heavily on Social Security but most experts believe there will not be enough to make a difference for most retirees.

For example:
 If you’re 25 and earn $35,000 a year (much more likely), you can expect to only get $977 a month ($11,712 a year) if you retire at 62. That’s poverty-level income.


So what can you do to help yourself? Below are four suggestions that can make a big difference

  1. Start investing now, if your company has a retirement plan take advantage of it.
  2. Get a part-time job.
  3. You can start your own business working from home. Take your experience and help others.
  4. Take something you love to do and teach other people how to do it.

I found a great article that included 12 Strategies to Generate Income in Retirement. https://www.kiplinger.com/article/retirement/T023-C000-S002-12-strategies-to-generate-income-in-retirement.html

Dave Ramsey has another way to save and plan for retirement. Retire a Millionaire on $35 a week.
https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/retire-a-millionaire-on-35-a-week

The most important thing is to take action now. Meet with a financial planner and learn how much you will need to live on in retirement and consider ways to make up the difference.

In 2016 I learned how to launch my own computer repair business from home and I have loved helping people solve their technical problems for the past 3 years but I am in the process of becoming a small business coach. The reason I have decided to change my profession is that I hear so many people complaining about their job how they feel they have to work there to have medical benefits. When I suggest they do something about it they just give excuses.

I believe we as human beings can adapt to learn and create the life we want if we are just given the proper tools. I am committed that each person I coach has the tools available to them to live their life with no regrets and use their gifts talent and abilities to benefit all mankind.

I found the tools to empower myself in the Master Key Experience course. It is a six-month course that I have taken four years in a row and each year I discover something new about myself. It is unlike any other course I have participated in. Check it out for yourself at https://masterkeyexperience.com/

I will share more about my progress in an upcoming post.

Please remember this quote “Find a job you enjoy doing, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” Mark Twain

April 7, 2019
by mikelovesjp
1 Comment

How You Can Turn a Passion for Helping Others into a Profitable Career?

The first key to turning a passion into a career is to create a plan of what you want your business to be like.

For example, if you were building a home you would work with a builder to design your home and that plan includes every detail of the home so the builder can build your home as it was designed. Below is a general floorplan but there would also be a plan created for the plumbing and electrical.
While the builder is building a home you would have a vision of how you want each room to look when you move into your new home. The curtains, flooring, countertops, appliances in your kitchen and the walls in each room painted the color of your choice.

Chef's Kitchen

Bedroom Decorations

Building a business is no different you need to sit down and create a set of plans to follow so that your business is built just the way you want it to be. You will also need to create a vision of you working in your office, your ideal client and how your business helps your clients.
Below is an exercise to create your business. Do the exercise and leave me a comment.
Exercise: Creating a Visual Plan for your Business
Get a piece of paper or a notepad.
Imagine you have unlimited resources available to you and there is nothing off limits. Let your imagination run wild. Pause the video and follow the steps below.
● Set a timer for 5 minutes, close your eyes, relax and allow             yourself to feel the emotions.
● Envision yourself in your workspace.
● What do you see around you?
● What do you smell?
● What do you hear?
● Now picture yourself with a client providing your service to         them.
● What is your client’s experience?
● What do they say to you?
● How do you feel?
*****When the timer expires Write down what you saw, felt and heard using descriptive words and emotions.
This is an example. My office is amazing where I have a view of the ocean from my desk! I have seen 3 clients today and I was able to resolve their computer issues with ease and give them tools to protect them from scams. At the end of the day, I am filled with so much gratitude to use my skills to make a difference in peoples lives that really matters to them.  I absolutely love my commute to work from my kitchen to my office! I never dreamed I could have a business like this!

Ocean view from an office

I love how I  work my business around my family’s schedule and have time for special moments with my children.

Mom spending time with her children Dad spending special moments with his children

Imagine as much detail as possible and when your the way you want it and make a commitment to read it out loud three times a day and allow yourself to feel the emotions each time.
By taking the time to do this you will attract the things you need to make your vision a reality.
Now that you have a plan to follow you will need a name for your business. I will cover steps to choose a name in an upcoming post.
Please come back and leave me a comment about the business you created and your experience from doing the exercise.
I would be honored to help you turn your passion into a business!
Mike Stewart

February 26, 2019
by mikelovesjp
2 Comments

How Do You Know if You’ve Discovered Passion?

The way you know you have discovered your passion is when you wake up every day excited to use your gifts to be of to service humanity. You have a desire to share the valuable wisdom you’ve gained with everyone you meet.

Imagine if you could help the people around you discover their gifts and live fully and passionately. To not be sidetracked by petty issues but want the best for everyone.

That is what I have discovered for myself and the way I discovered it was using the process below.

Look at the definition of passion. Dictionary.com defines passion as.

  1. Any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
  2. strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
  3. A strong sexual desire; lust.

Take an area of your life like your career and ask yourself the following questions.

  • Does your career inspire you to go to work each day?
  • When you leave work each day do you feel fulfilled and satisfied?

If the answer to these questions is no, then maybe you forgot the reason you chose that line of work.

At this point, you can choose.

1. Think back to when you started working in your career of choice and recall what inspired you to choose that career.

2. Imagine for a second if you were handed a golden ticket with a paid scholarship to choose any career right now what would you choose? See yourself working in that career, how would you feel? What would your co-workers be like? Where would you be living?

Try doing this exercise in each area of your life, family, recreation, social life, etc.. Would it inspire you? Would it scare you? Would you be someone who would take the actions necessary to transform the areas your not satisfied with?

Most people won’t take action because it is uncomfortable.

Some people don’t believe they can change and other people would rather complain than change.

But I can tell you for certain that it is possible to change any area of your life you desire if you are willing to put in the daily work to do so.

It all starts with realizing that the subconscious mind makes all the decisions.

In order to bring about lasting change, you have to reprogram your unconscious mind to work for you instead of against you. To become aware of the thoughts you entertain every day.  If you change your thoughts you can change your actions and by changing your actions you change your results.

There is no quick fix. But there is a simple way to start changing the way you think by going on a 7 Day Mental Diet.

If you like you can get a copy by entering your name and email address on the right-hand side of the screen.

Please leave me a comment about this post.

Mike

February 1, 2019
by mikelovesjp
1 Comment

How Can I Find My Passion?

I read a post on social media recently of a person asking the question “How can I find my passion”? I began to ponder that question myself and the first thought that came to mind was what happened that caused them to lose their passion.

I recalled losing my passion in 2012 when my wife and I lost our business after two years of spending our retirement we ran out of money and had to close our doors. I remember sitting in the food stamp office with ten dollars in our bank account and some change in our pockets desperately hoping that our application would be accepted. I felt like such a fool for losing our business and our retirement. Do you kow what I mean? have you ever felt tha way?

I eventually got a job that allowed us to get on our feet financially but I was not happy with the work I was doing and never recovered emotionally from my past business failure but I continued to search for answers.

I found the answer I was looking for three years later, the longing in my heart to regain my passion and confidence returned and it was literally right in front of my nose.

I regained my passion in 2015 when I attended a course called Master Key Experience. It was an odd course I had never experienced before where the previous year’s students paid it forward for me to take the course. In the first month of my course I learned how to replace the negative thoughts in my mind with positive thoughts. By doing simple exercises each day I learned to focus on what I wanted my life to look like and not on my past failures or fears of failing in the future.

This concept blew me away and made total sense when I really thought about it. What I allowed in my inner world colored how I saw myself, and every person on the planet. Eventually, I learned to recognize how many negative thoughts I had about other people. It could be there clothing there shoes, how they walked, their weight but all my thought were negative. With daily practice, I am now able to substitute negative thoughts for positive ones and my view of myself and others has completely changed. I now see each person as someone who has unique gifts, a deep desire to use them, is powerful beyond measure but they just don’t know it.

Do this simple test.

  1. Find a quiet place to be alone.
  2. Close your eyes.
  3. Let your thoughts wander.
  4. Observe how many thought you have.
  5. How many are positive and how many are negative?

Most people never take the time to monitor what they think about on a daily basis and wonder why their life is the way it is. But it is critical to your success of finding your passion.

In summary, your passion is where it has always been in your heart and you can reignite it by chipping away at the cement made up of the negative experiences of your past by spending time in stillness and silence with God or your source the one who created you, the one who knows you best and even in your worst times still loves you and will always love you.

Your passion is where it has always been but it will take work to uncover it. Are you willing to do the work to find your passion? I know you can do it. I did it. I believe in you and support you on your journey to find your passion.

Start the process now!

Get on the Master Key Experience 2019 waiting list by entering your information in the form on the left-hand side of this page.

Leave me a comment if you would like to know more about the course and how it can help you become the person you were always meant to become.

Mike

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