Family Health By Design

Empowering families be to live life with passion and purpose

Excited

October 10, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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MKE Week 1 – Lasting Change Comes from The Inside Out

In order to create lasting change, you must work from the inside out.

Creating lasting change means you must become aware of what you think, what you believe, what you feel, and your actions based on those feelings to bring about a different outcome.

The week 1 Master Key Lesson explains it this way.

  1. There is a world within – a world of thought and feeling and power; of light and life
    and beauty and, although invisible, its forces aremighty.
  2. The world within is governed by mind. When we discover this world we shall find the
    solution for every problem, the cause for every effect; and since the world within is
    subject to our control, all laws of power and possession are also within our control.
  3. The world without is a reflection of the world within. What appears without is whathas been found within. In the world within may be found infinite Wisdom, infinite Power,infinite Supply of all that is necessary, waiting for unfoldment, development andexpression. If we recognize these potentialities in the world within they will take form inthe worldwithout.

Before I experienced the Master Key Experience if I discovered an area of my life I wished to improve upon I would look for a program, a person or a book to help me solve my problem.

I would get so excited at first that I had finally found the answer I was looking for with a list of actions I can take but because those new actions never got to the root I only experienced temporary relief but if I was having a stressful day those new ways became too uncomfortable and my old way of thinking and acting would kick in and I’d go back to doing what is comfortable even though I didn’t like the results it produced.

At first, I thought it was just me, that I just wasn’t good enough, I need more willpower but I soon learned it is every human being that follows the same pattern. The Master keys gave me the power to break that pattern and get to the root of the problem, my thoughts.

If you are feeling stuck in a destructive cycle of thinking, believing, and acting you are not alone, without the proper tools you will continue to be stuck until you make the decision to learn and practice going deep into yourself. When you become curious about your feelings, good or bad you can process them in a healthy way which will bring about the lasting changes your heart has longed for.

Lasting change

It brings tears to my eyes when I think back at how many years I suffered trying to change failing feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt and shame and now discover that I had the power with myself to change I was just never given the tools to access that power.

I can remember many Monday nights, I would get nervous while preparing for a speech at our Tuesday morning Toastmaster meeting, I would get bombarded with negative thoughts that my speech would fall on deaf ears, I would forget the key points and that made me very so nervous I would not sleep very well that night.

After feeling this way a couple of times I realized I never really dealt with the root of why I was so nervous. The only way I overcame my nervousness was to ask myself why I was so nervous and I learned to shift my thoughts from thinking about failing and reminded myself the audience does not know what I am speaking about.

I also learned to view my speech as a gift I was giving to my audience and this totally changed the way I prepared for future speeches and after each talk, I received raving reviews.

This is my 6th time going through the Master Key Experience course and I am so excited to share this experience with the hope to inspire you to take this course in the future. There is no other course that has given me the power to make lasting change in my life and I am the person I am today by doing inner work.

I will be sharing my experience each week and I am open to speaking with anyone who would like to develop these skills and create lasting change in their life. You can contact me at mikesteweartcoaching@gmail.com

To learn more about me click HERE

Morning prayer

September 26, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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Success Is An Inside Job, You Were Born with It

Did you know that success is in an inside job, that you were born with it?

I was always taught that success was something I would need to work hard for, that it was tied to how much money you make, whether I owned a home or not, and was based on what other people thought of me. I lived my life for 35 years always comparing my life to other men my age and It left me feeling defeated and empty.

In 2004 I became so overwhelmed with work and the different chores at home like maintaining the weeds in our backyard. I remember asking myself if this is what it means to be a homeowner I don’t want to own a home anymore. I raised the idea of selling our home with my wife and she wasn’t excited at first but as we began to examine how much our neighborhood changed in the past 13 years and we realized how overcrowed it had become and we made plans to sell our home.

We sold our home in 3 months, paid off all of our debts, banked the remaining money for our next home, and began to pray for where God wanted us to move. Being debt-free felt so wonderful, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off our shoulders. But then again I started comparing myself to other men my age and felt like a failure next to them.

In 2015 I was taking a course called The Master Key Experience and I learned a new definition of success, I learned that success is determined by how I am living my life every day. If I live my life with passion and I’m working towards a worthwhile goal I am a success. One of the homework assignments week1 is to write a DMP (Definite Major Purpose), this is a document that is a written visual description of what your future life will look like with feelings and enthusiasm.

Earl Nightingale’s definition of success.“Success is really nothing more than the progressive realization of a worthy ideal. This means that any person who knows what they are doing and where they are going is a success. Any person with a goal towards which they are working is a successful person.”

Five things I do daily to maintain a successful attitude.

  1. I say out loud 5 things I am grateful for.
  2. I sit with my eyes closed deep breathe for 5 to 10 minutes. It calms my body and my mind. when my thoughts wander I go back to focusing on my breath, (You may know this as meditation).
  3. I ask myself and God how can I be of service to someone today and make a positive difference in their life.
  4. I read my DMP with feeling and visualize how it will feel when it is a reality.
  5. I remind myself that I am a walking breathing miracle and there is a power, God, source, universe that is a part of me that is rooting for me. ( It is the same source that keeps your heart beating, your blood flowing, your cells healing, and your brain functioning)

When I make time to include these 5 things in my morning routine I end each day knowing I was a success because I followed my heart.

I started by adding one new thing to my routine each week and as I continued to practice this it soon became a time I looked forward to and felt renewed and refreshed as I started my day. 

If you are feeling like a failure or overwhelmed with life please reach out to me I would be happy to support you in achieving your best life. You can contact me at Meet with Mike

September 13, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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When We Are United We Stand Divided We Fall

Are you having trouble discussing today’s social issues with your neighbors or friend without being called names or a conspiracy theorist? When we are united we tend to listen more objectively.

Do you have strong opinions about today’s social issues? Do you research what you hear from the news media or do you just take it for gospel and share but people are not receptive to hearing what you have to say?

I have had the same experience just this week when I made an innocent comment on our neighborhood community platform about mask and vaccine mandates. I was blown away by the unwillingness and downright refusal of the people commenting to even be curious as to why I believed the way I do.

The people who contributed to the conversation were either wanting to force everyone to take the vaccine and wear a mask or just choose to stay home and lose all of their privileges to shop or travel outside California. Most of the contributors were not willing to discuss any of the topics without judgment or name-calling.

I was upset and just wanted to leave the conversation until I realized I was doing the same thing.

People united
Photo by Ivan Samkov

I was taking their comments personally and not taking into consideration that each person was experiencing fear about the unvaccinated and how and the mask mandates would affect our community based on the sources they follow on social media and the news they watch.

When I realized where they were coming from I have a newfound compassion for them because all of their decisions were based on fear not on science or facts. I discovered something when I entered the words Masks don’t stop the spread of Covid-19  the majority of articles displayed were aligned with how I worded the question. My experiment proved I could find proof for both sides of the argument. Many people who had social media channels on Facebook, Youtube, and Twitter were shut down because it was considered a danger to the public.

I am happy to say there are some people who are still participating in the conversation and doing so with understanding and respect. A great example is in this post at https://www.americaagainstcovid.com/

I encourage you the next time you have a conversation in person, on social media, or on your neighborhood forum please take into consideration that people are afraid before you post. I know when I am afraid or feel like my beliefs and values are being challenged my first response is to lash out but I know that does not serve or bring value to anyone. I found it is better to agree to disagree on this topic and choose to part as friends.

The answer is Unity.

Just consider that there may be people or factions whose only purpose is to divide our community and its people. we may still disagree on some issues but we can agree to be respectful of each other’s opinions.

United we stand divided we fall

“We have a war on women, race wars. Income wars, age wars, religious wars, anything you can imagine. A house divided against itself cannot stand it. And it’s going to be up to us, to people, to begin the focus on the positive things, on the things that we have in common and stop listening to those who are stoking the fires of division.” ~ Benjamin Carson

Are you curious how to learn more about how the human mind works and how to make it work for you and not against you check out the Masker Key Course? You can apply for a scholarship for $1 at https://bit.ly/3ljsx3b

Please contact me if you would like to discuss this article I would be dialogue with you.

September 5, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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5 Ways To Transform your Family Life

I have discovered 5 ways to transform my family life by getting present to who I want to be, the unique gifts I have, and by sharing them with the people in my life can impact their lives and in turn the lives of their children.

Have you ever come to a place in your life where you began to question how you got to be where you are right now? Ask yourself how did I get here?

There was a song that was written years ago by the Talking Heads called Once in a Lifetime. I remember hearing this song on the radio over and over again but the words never really sank in until I was about 45 years old.

I recall hearing the words from verse 1 and as I began to ask myself the questions below in verse 1 I felt a sadness come over me and I feel those same feelings now as I am writing this, feelings of not realizing how I have come to this point in my life, that many of the decisions I made over the past 20 years were based on some else’s values.

It is like being on a car trip to and along the way there are sights and beautiful scenery and I arrived at our destination but I was asleep the whole way and missed everything. I missed all of the beautiful scenery and conversations between all of the passengers, and when we reach our destination I am told of all the amazing sites I missed along the way.

I discovered the same with my life, I found myself at a destination I did not plan, a life I did not design but a life that was designed for me which causes me to ask the questions in verse 2 and I don’t like the way it makes me feel. As I try to make sense of it all I become angry, I feel cheated! I feel robbed of not being able to enjoy all the pleasures I missed along the way!

Verse 1

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

Verse 2

And you may ask yourself, “How do I work this?”
And you may ask yourself, “Where is that large automobile?”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house”
And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful wife”

You can listen to the entire song at Once in a Lifetime

I've learned something today

Through an amazing course called the Master Key Experience, I learned 5 ways that inspired me to do the inner work which transformed myself and my family life and how I relate to other people.

  1. I learned that I was responsible for my happiness and no one else. It is not my wife, my son, or my friend’s job to make me happy. I am It is 100% responsible for my happiness. Ponder that thought for a moment and think about how many times you have blamed your spouse, your kids, your boss, and your neighbors for your unhappiness. When I realized this I decided to clean up my mess, in other words, I went to each person I treated poorly for my troubled life and asked them to forgive me. I did it without expecting a response from them because I did it for my benefit and when I did it was as if I had been dragging several balls and chains around for years which I now realized why I felt so tired at the end of the day. I felt like I just lost a thousand pounds of emotional baggage and I felt light as a feather.
  2. I learned to make time for myself. I made a decision to set aside personal time for me, time to reflect on where I am, ask myself if I am happy where I am in that area, and if I am not I will commit to learning how I can change it to be the way I want it to be.
  3. I learned how my mind worked, how my thoughts affected my feelings, how my feelings determined my actions and that my actions created the results I currently have.
  4. I learned that the 5 people I hang out with the most will either inspire you to take action towards creating the ideal life you want and the legacy you will leave when you reach your final resting place. This really impacted me when I went to find out if my father was still alive in 2008. I first google his name and found no results, I contacted the county clerk located in Carson City, NV, and I found out that he died in 2002. I decided to google my mom and my search came up empty. Knowing that both of my parents didn’t leave an impact on humanity before they died inspired me to find new and creative ways that I can help people in practical ways. I made it my intention to make every conversation a life-changing, I made a decision that my life will not end up the same way as my parents. I set aside some time to imagine what the memorial of my death would look like, who would be there, and what the conversation would be amongst the attendees. I visualized a long line of people waiting their turn to share the impact I had on their lives and the way I made them feel after having interacted with me. Thousands of people were excited for their turn to come to the microphone to share their testimony about me. It moves me to tears when I stop to think about it.
  5. I learned the power to change my life and the answers to life’s most important questions were given to each person at the time of their birth by their creator but we were just never taught how to access them. I spent years trying to fix myself but due to my limited access to the tools and resources available I stumbled and struggled for 45 years.

As you incorporate these 5 ways into your daily activities you will not only transform your family life but it will change the way you interact with every person you meet.

I know thousands of people just like you and me who have taken the Master Key Experience course and transformed their life like Laura Hitt. You can read her experience at Living To Your Own Beat

If you would like to learn the science behind each of the 5 ways I listed above to create the life you want the Master Key Experience enrollment is starting on September 8th, 2021. I would love to have a conversation with you regarding the upcoming course and answer any questions you may have about attending. you can set up an appointment with me at Meet With Mike. What makes this course different is that your spot in the course has already been paid for by last year’s attendees through a pay it forward scholarship.  Set up a time and get the tools you need NOW!

Help their voices be heard

August 29, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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Covid-19 Vaccine Victims Need to Be Heard and Acknowledged

Victims of the Covid-19 vaccine are not being heard or acknowledged by the government, big pharma, or the mainstream media.

I know this is not my usual topic but I have to vent because I have not heard any reports about the adverse effects of the Covid-19 vaccine only that it is safe and effective against the virus.

Every media outlet from the alphabet, cable and written news everyone is touting “Just get the Shot stop being selfish”.  Why is no one investigating the thousands of reports listed below on this website?

https://www.openvaers.com/covid-data?

What happened to investigative reporting? It has been silenced by the owners of the news outlets.

What happened to giving people the opportunity to learn about the risks and benefits of taking medication and encouraging them to educate themselves?

Why are people’s stories being suppressed by Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, and Instagram? It is because the people who control those media outlets have sponsors that pay for them to exist who don’t want that information out because it doesn’t fund their interests, in other words, follow the money.

Why will no one report the stories of those who are suffering at the hand of big pharma? how come the vaccine manufacturers apologize or acknowledge them?

They don’t acknowledge them because it would stop the flow of money, and cause people to take a second look before putting a drug that is still in clinical trials into their bodies.

Who will speak for those that won’t be heard? It is time to stop the lies and let the people know the truth about the virus, the vaccine, and the give share the reasons for censoring anyone who disagrees with them.

It is time for all people in every state, county, and city to come together and say NO MORE LIES!

I have been pondering the best way to share this and have been flooded with a barrage of emotions this week and grieving for the struggles I hear people going through from the loss of loved ones to the permanent heaths issues my friend has been dealing with.

This week a friend I know who is a nurse shared her story on social media about how the quality of her life and her health has declined since she had been vaccinated. Things like not being able to stand for a very long time making dinner because her legs get tingly and fatigued. She has made several requests for answers from Pfizer but has yet to receive any acknowledgment.

I also watched a video of a lady named Brit on Red Voice Media who had been vaccinated and 7 months later she was admitted to the hospital because she could not stop vomiting. While she was hospitalized for underwent numerous tests and saw a total of 17 doctors during her three different stays. She was diagnosed with Giambere. Pericarditis, Pots syndrome, Gastroparesis, Meningitis, all as a result of the Moderna vaccines. She tried to share her experience on Instagram and she was belittled, ridiculed, and threatened.

The hospital brought security into her room to threaten her to stop posting. She was confused, in pain, and hurting and it wasn’t until the fifth day of her third stay that a doctor was willing to admit that her symptoms were from the Moderna vaccine. After being treated for the Giambere she was allowed to go home and she decided to turn to an integrative medicine doctor in Tampa, FL. Her video posts on Instagram blacked out.

Victims of the Covid-19 vaccine are not heard

Brit is one of many victims of the Covid-19 vaccine and although they have attempted to contact the vaccine manufacturers their requests for answers have fallen on deaf ears. You can watch Btrit’s story here

Below is a link to a 3-minute video of some of the victims share their stories. They are not looking for any compensation but to be heard and their stories shared to help people who are considering the vaccine realize what the risks are.

People talk about their reaction to the Covid vaccines

Covid-19 Vaccine Reactions

The reason I am so passionate about this topic is that when I was 20 years old I struggled with severe allergies and no matter what medication or treatment my doctor prescribed nothing helped. 25 years later I learned that it was the processed foods and fast food I was eating that were causing the majority of my symptoms. I know that I am healthy today because I chose to take control of my health and not leave it in the hands of doctors that only prescribed medicine relieve my symptoms but never got to the root cause of my allergies. You have to be the researcher, you have to be the one who does the work of reading the nutrition labels, research the internet for natural remedies and surround yourself with like-minded people who have helped themselves recover from their illness and conditions.

I would love to have a conversation on this topic, you can contact me in three ways, at my website at http://mentalktoyourwoman.com my calendar link at Meet with Mike or the contact form on the home page.

That loving feeling

August 22, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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Bring That Loving Feeling Into Your Marriage

Are you wondering how you can bring back that loving feeling into your marriage?

Do you remember what it was like when you and your partner would spend time cuddle on the couch or while lying in bed?

Do you remember when the touch of your partner made you lean into their shoulder and just nuzzle into their arms?

I can remember when my wife and I were dating and after we were married I would coming home after a long day of work and no matter how bad of a day I had and my wife would come up give me a hug and hold me in her arms and a calm peaceful feeling would come over me and I knew everything was going to be ok because I felt loved, accepted and safe. Do you remember times like that?

The only other time I remember feeling that way was when I was a child about 8 years old and as a family, we would watch TV in the evening and I loved to crawl up on my Mom’s lap and cuddle her arms, and those feelings of acceptance, safety, and unconditional love would flood over me.

That Loving Feeling
Photo by Katerina on Pexels.

Do you remember feeling that way in your partner’s arms when you were dating or when you were first married? Do you remember being so in love that your heart ached when you were apart and you talked on the phone for hours? Where did those days go? Where did those feelings go?

My mind became focused on this topic last Wednesday while I was in the middle of my stretching and exercise routine. The thought hit me hard that there are so many people struggling to make sense of everything from the news media constantly sharing how bad things are with the Covid-19 Delta Variant on the rise and all the stuff that is going on in Afghanistan, and you can also add the pressure being placed on parents to vaccinate their children, supervisors and small business owners requiring their employees to vaccinated or they have to find another job.  Adding all that to a mom and dad trying to raise their children to be the best human beings they can be and training them to grow up exploring the possibilities of being the next Nobel Prize Winner, champion athlete, or the next best-selling author. The average American home has changed so much in the past year and the amount of stress seems to only be increasing.

How are we able to combat all of these things and still make time to be together as a couple to strengthen, pray together, and encourage one another to hope for a better tomorrow and be there to comfort our children when they are looking for that assurance that no matter what happens they are accepted and unconditionally loved.

I began to weep for the marriages going through all the things I listed above and asked “how can I help these families bring back that loving feeling and give them hope to weather the current storm they are facing?’ Then it hit me, I need to empower them with tools that not only bring back that loving feeling that they once felt for one another but also help them realize they have the power to create their life exactly as they want it to be and have an environment that saturates the entire family with that love.

Do you remember the song by Hall and Oats titled You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling? If not you can listen to it here  You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling

This song explains exactly how the relationship between a couple begins to break down, the second verse reads.

There’s no welcome look in your eyes
When I reach for you
And girl you’re starting to
Criticize little things I do
Ooh, it makes me just feel like cryin’ (baby)
‘Cause baby something beautiful’s dyin’.

When you start to criticize little things I do is the exact same thing I found myself doing that began to erode my connection to my wife Valerie. I began to look for the things that were wrong instead of the things that were right, instead of focusing on the things I loved about her I could only see the things I didn’t like about her. The turning point in our relationship came as a result of the Master Key Experience course I attended in 2015. It was through that course I began to realize I was the person that was creating all of my unhappiness and because I did not know how to process my thoughts and feelings in a healthy way I did what any normal person in that state would do deflect the blame on their partner.

Through the daily exercises, I began to notice how many times a day I had a negative thought about everyone I encountered that day. If I was running late for an appointment is was the person driving in the car in front of me that was causing me to be late while disregarding the fact that I could have left my house sooner.  As continued to practice monitoring my thoughts I could see that negativity was running my thoughts feelings and actions and it had to stop now by using what is called the Law Of Substitution. The law of substitution is one of the seven laws of the mind that we are encouraged to apply to our daily lives in order to get the results we want in every area of our life.

Do you want to get back that loving feeling in your marriage? If so please consider joining The Master Key Experience course this September. you can find more about it at the following link. If you would like to ask me any questions regarding what I have written in this post or have a conversation regarding the Master Key Experience course you can contact me through my website http://mentalktoyourwoman.com or my Facebook Page. MikeStewartCoaching

I told you early how you could get a copy of the Seven Day Mental Diet and you can request a copy from my website http://familyhealthbydesign.org

I look forward to being a source of hope and empowerment to those individuals who would like to rebuild their relationship with their partner and get back that loving feeling.

August 15, 2021
by Mike Stewart
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L-E-A-R-N Step Five – How to Eliminate Negativity to Recapture The Magic In Your Marriage

To learn step five is on how to eliminate negativity and recapture the magic in your marriage

This week will focus on the letter N

N stands for negativity. We must eliminate negative thoughts about our partner in order to restore the magic we once had in our relationship.

The best example or lesson I learned was in a booklet called the Seven Day Mental Diet.

Imagine you are sitting around a campfire with some friends one evening telling funny stories about your past and about life in general and a spark flies out of the fire and lands on your jacket you immediately brush the spark off your jacket before it can do any damage but if you let it stay there it will burn a hole in the jacket. In the same way, when we entertain negative thoughts and do not eliminate them quickly they do damage to the relationships of the ones we love. I will share how you can get a copy of the Seven Day Mental Diet That will give you the process to follow later on in this post.

Say no to negativity
pexels-kindel-media-7148674.jpeg

If you are in a relationship with someone you love and you find yourself constantly struggling with negative thoughts about yourself or your partner you are not alone and I can truthfully tell you it is not your fault. Do you ever think about how many times we are bombarded with negative news on social media or in the mainstream news media every day? A perfect was a study that was conducted by Robert Schrauf and Julia Sanchez titled Negative Words Dominate Language

The study showed that as a culture we focus more on negative words than positive words because negative words stir up emotions cause us to use more energy to process them. The study also showed that out of the 70,000 thoughts we have per day 50 percent are negative.

What does this have to do with my marriage relationship? It has everything to do with it because if you recall when you were dating your partner you didn’t fall in love with what you didn’t like about them you fell in love with what you loved about them, maybe her smile, his body, how they made you feel. But after you were married or decided to live together you slowly started to notice things you didn’t like about your partner and as you continued to entertain those negative thoughts over and over again it has now become your automatic response.

Take a moment to ponder that thought.  Do you struggle with constantly battling negative thoughts about your partner, about life, about yourself?

Do you find yourself noticing positive qualities about other people or negative qualities?

Would it be valuable to you to learn how to substitute negative thoughts and turn them into positive thoughts? I have found the only way to do that is with practice. To learn how to eliminate negativity?

In my experience as a weight loss coach from 2008 to 2012, I discovered a bad habit I picked up where found myself judging every person I met or saw in public on their weight or their health. My thoughts were always negative like “that guy is really overweight why doesn’t he do something about it?”

As I began to learn more about why I discovered that it was because I viewed myself the same way. If I didn’t eat right or exercise when I had scheduled myself to do so and didn’t follow through my self-esteem was in the toilet. But what I learned just a couple of years later is the reason I was unaware I was doing it was that I had repeated the behavior so many times it had become a habit, it became my automatic response.

When I learned that I was the cause I was determined to change my behavior but I knew it was going to take work, hard mental labor to reprogram my thoughts to be positive. I had to train my conscience to be a guard against any negative thoughts and to substitute them for positive thoughts. This was the catalyst that empowered me to recapture the magic in my marriage.

One example ill share is when I see an overweight person exercising I used to think “What’s the use unless they control they’re eating they will always be overweight”, Now I am able to substitute that negative thought for ” “I am glad they are committed to working on their health it will save them years of pain down the road”. I am so glad for them!

No negativity, You can do this

I told you early how you could get a copy of the Seven Day Mental Diet and you can request a copy from my website http://familyhealthbydesign.org

It wasn’t easy and the negative thoughts may never go away but I now have the power to change them, and you can too. There is a course called the Master Key Experience. The Masterkey Experience starts the last week in September. If you would like to be notified of the exact date please reach out to me at one of the platforms listed here. Talk to Mike

August 8, 2021
by Mike Stewart
0 comments

L-E-A-R-N Step Four of How to Recapture The Magic In Your Marriage

L-E-A-R-N Step Four of How to Recapture The Magic In Your Marriage

To help you learn the fourth step to recapture the magic in your marriage we will focus on the letter R

R stands for Remember. Remembering why you fell in love, what attracted you to your partner, and all the special times you spent together with each other, and as a family.

Think back to when you first saw him or her what did you feel? Do you remember when you talked on the phone for hours and when you were together your heart ached to be together again?

I remember the first time I saw my wife Valerie was when I watched a VHS video 37 years ago. We met through a matchmaking service called American Millionaires in San Jose California. I went to a matchmaker because I was unable to find the type of girl I was looking for at nightclubs or bars. I was looking for a woman of virtue, someone who had the same values as me and I found her at American Millionaires. What made them unique was that they had each member create an extensive profile that includes a video of each member sharing what they were looking for in a partner. What made Valerie stand out to me was her smile and her vision of what she was looking for. Although we did not see eye to eye on our hobbies our profiles were virtually identical. We when on a couple of dates and after a couple of months of attending weddings and parties of each other’s friends we decided to pursue marriage around two years later. I remember our wedding day as if it was yesterday and I make it a point to watch our wedding video a couple of times a year so that I never forget why I married Valerie and how much I love her.

On Valentine’s day, I created a montage of all the places we lived and all the special memories we shared together.

32 Years and still in love

Your story is different from mine but there is still that moment when you saw something and pursued it, you fell in love and decided to get married. It doesn’t matter what has happened in the past if you still love one another it is possible to recapture the magic in your marriage. It all starts with each partner taking responsibility for the behavior that caused the separation in your relationship. It only takes one person to start the process. For me, it started when my wife came to me and shared how she felt more like my roommate than my wife. Her words caused me to examine my past, feelings, thoughts, and actions that caused me to emotionally distance myself from her.

As I examined the past years I could see how many times I placed other things like money, my career, debts, and household clutter above love and unity. I became so blind that in 2012 when Valerie was struggling with blood clots, arthritis, and her condition became so bad that I could not touch her without her screaming in pain. Her arthritis became so bad her hands functioned more like claws than hands because she could not bend her fingers. When we were finally able to get her the medical care she needed I was so worried about how much everything was going to cost. I learned that behavior because we lost our business in 2012 after only being open for 2 years and losing a quarter-million dollars we later learned that was the cause of Valerie’s condition.

I remember when the doctor telling us that if Valerie does not have a blood transfusion her organs will start to shut down and she will die. At that point I came to the realization I might lose Valerie that day and that was something I was not going to accept no matter how much it cost. After two blood transfusions, her condition became somewhat stable but the next day the doctor informed us that she could no longer give Valerie the care she needed because they could not get tests back fast enough to determine the cause of the disease and that our only hope was to send her case to two hospitals UCLA in Los Angeles, CA. or Stanford in Palo Alto CA. We chose Palo Alto because we had family that lived close by. The hard part was the waiting because the doctor told us that after we submit the request it could take two hours, to days, or two weeks for them to respond to the request but we were fortunate we received an answer within one hour.

After a week at Stanford hospital receiving around-the-clock care, Valerie’s condition became stable and she was able to return to our local hospital for monitoring and she was finally able to go home on July 5th, 2013. While at home caring for Valerie I was so fortunate that my boss gave me the flexibility to work when I could around Valerie’s needs. Today Valerie is healthy and she only has to see her doctors every three months but I will always remember that moment in the hospital when the reality of those words I vowed ion June 4th, 1988 I will love honor, and cherish Valerie until death till we part. Once Valerie was well enough we were able to fulfill a dream of hers when she was in the ICU which was to return to Disneyland and buy an Alice In Wonderland teapot.

Remember the precious moments and setup reminders all through your home that will inspire you to keep the love alive. It takes time but your marriage is worth it, your kids are worth it and you are worth it.

No matter what you have been through you can still create a loving magical future together by replacing any negative thoughts and feelings with thoughts of those magical moments when love was in the air and both felt the magic alive in your hearts.

I would be happy to meet with you if you would like to schedule a time please connect with me at the following link.  Meet with Mike Stewart  I look forward to hearing from you.

What are you thinking?

August 1, 2021
by Mike Stewart
0 comments

L-E-A-R-N Step 3 Awareness is How We Recapture The Magic In Marriage

L-E-A-R-N Step 3 Awareness is How We Recapture The Magic In Marriage

Awareness

Step three to recapturing the magic in your marriage has to do with creating a new awareness. A new awareness about yourself and about your spouse. 

Let’s start by taking a look at the meaning  of awareness:

Webster’s Definition of awareness

: the quality or state of being aware: knowledge and understanding that something is happening or exists

promoting a heightened awareness of the problem seemed to have only a slight awareness of what was going on

an acute awareness of subtle differences

Let’s take the first definition and break it down:

  • The quality or state of being aware. Knowledge and understanding that something is happening.

Creating a new awareness in our relationship means that in order to change the way we relate to our spouse we must become aware of the thoughts feelings and actions that lead us to push away from our partner begin to not trust them and to keep our feelings to ourselves because we don’t feel it is safe anymore to share them without being ridiculed or made wrong to feel that way.

We repeat the same scenario so many times it has become the new normal.

You may be hearing yourself say I don’t do those things, I am aware of my partner’s feelings and I’m not afraid to share them but we are more willing to share our thoughts and feelings with our friends but not our partner because our friends won’t respond the same way.

The best way I know how to explain is by sharing my own story.

Six years ago my wife Valerie came to me and told me she felt more like my roommate than My wife because we stopped dating, and doing fun things together, and even just cuddling. My first response was to become defensive, my second response was I began to make a list of all the things she did or did not do which only made things worse. 

What changed for me that allowed me to become more aware of Valerie’s needs and the negative thoughts, feelings and actions were when I started a course called the Master Key Experience in 2016.

One Small Positive thought

The course consisted of daily homework which included a 15-minute meditation and the introduction to the course in week one revealed how our mind works and the effects our thoughts have on our feelings and actions. It revealed that by consistently thing and feeling a certain way they became so automatic and that is how our habits are formed. Those two things revealed to me how many times a day I had negative thoughts towards Valerie, how those thoughts created negative feelings and were followed by negative actions. 

It revealed how I created a negative persona of Valerie that propelled me to constantly collect evidence to prove my point.  Thought like “she doesn’t care”, But the most damaging part was that it was the persona that I created that caused the separation between us and it drowned out all the years of love and good times we have spent together.

Each day during the meditation as I analyzed the thoughts that ran through my mind I learned little by little how to substitute the negative thoughts for positive thoughts from our wedding, the adoption of our son Lonnie, and when we bought our first home my heart became so full of love again and as I continued to practice I became addicted to the positive feelings which lead me to take positive actions to show Valerie I loved her various ways, it gave me back the marriage I always wanted, the marriage I committed to 33 years ago and it inspired me to create a practice of watching our wedding video a couple of times a year to never forget why we fell love.  

Awareness breathes new life into a relationship, it allows you to remember why you fell in love with your partner. It reignites love and inspires you to keep entertaining the positive emotions and moves you to create traditions that keep the love alive.

For the last 50 years, researchers have used varying definitions of self-awareness. For example, some see it as the ability to monitor our inner world, whereas others label it as a temporary state of self-consciousness. Still others describe it as the difference between how we see ourselves and how others see us.  What self-awareness really is and how to cultivate it

Never forget what attracted you to your partner, the good times you had together, and the good time that you will create in the future.

If you would like to discuss this topic more with me please set up a 30-minute call at the following link. Meet with Mike

July 25, 2021
by Mike Stewart
0 comments

L-E-A-R-N Step Two of How to Recapture The Magic In Your Marriage

L-E-A-R-N Step Two of How to Recapture The Magic In Your Marriage

To learn the second step to recapture the magic in your marriage we will focus on the letter E.

E is for educate. You need to educate yourself, who you really are what it means to be alive and why you do the things you do.

Look at your own body, have you ever wondered what powers the cells in your body to heal? What powers your brain to keep thinking, your heart to beat and pump blood, your lungs to breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide?

courtesy of https://www.bepublishing.com/

Have you ever considered how you came to be born? 

Scientists estimate the probability of anyone being born at about ONE IN 400 TRILLION! How are these numbers calculated?

1-Probability of your parent’s meeting: 1 in 20,000.

2-Probability of the same boy knowing this one girl: ONE IN 2,000.

3-Probability of right sperm meeting the right egg: ONE IN 400 QUADRILLION.

4-Probability of every one of your ancestors reproducing successfully: ONE IN TEN, 1:10

5-Probability of your being born: ONE IN 10.   From the article Are Your A Miracle?

Do you know what this means? It means are a living breathing miracle and you were equipped with everything you need to succeed in life at birth, you have just never been shown how to access it.

The best explanation for our existence I read in the bible. Whether you believe in God or not does matter it’s this passage that I found the evidence for my existence so please listen with an open mind.

Psalms 139:13-18

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand when I awake, I am still with you.

The moment in time I started to educate myself was when I was 45 years old. I had worked all night on a project, I got 5 hours of sleep that night and was back on the job at 8 am. I had an epiphany that the work I had been doing for 25 years did not have a lasting impact on people’s lives. At the end of the day the woman whose phone I installed that day did not change her life. This caused me to go on a search for a new career and after starting my own business and failing miserably I found myself broke, on food stamps, and struggling to find a way to regain the confidence I once had and to my surprise, I found the answers were there all along.

photo from pinterest.com

You may be asking yourself what does this have to do with me recapturing the magic in my marriage?

It had everything to do with recapturing the magic in my marriage because for years I lived a life of insecurity, always seeking the approval of others and it created a barrier between myself and everyone else because I believed if people knew the real me they would reject me.

After years of struggling to make sense of my life and searching for happiness in material things and other people, I finally found the answer through a course called the Master Key Experience. The Master Key Experience is a six-month self-discovery course that revealed to me how my mind and body work together in concert and how my life is interconnected with the lives of others. It also gave me the tools to accept myself for who I am and create and live into the person I want to become. 

How did this affect my relationship with other people?

It gave me insight into how much of my life was lived unconsciously.

It gave me an awareness of the patterns I created that sabotaged my relationship with my wife whom I dearly love.

It opened my eyes to see that each person is on their own journey of discovering who they really are and the deep desires they have to live their best and contribute to the well-being of others.

It is my greatest desire that you don’t just take my word, but that you become a student and take what I have shared and research it for yourself.

I would be happy to meet with you if you would like to schedule a time please connect with me at the following link.  Meet with Mike Stewart  I look forward to hearing from you.

If you missed reading the first step you can find it here https://familyhealthbydesign.org/wp-admin/post.php?post=727&action=edit

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