Step One of Five to Recapture the Magic in Your Marriage
L is for Let Go
Let go of what you think you know about your relationship with your spouse, be open to learning a new way to create more awareness in how you relate and respond to one another. Your marriage relationship has become what it is today because of the thoughts and actions you have allowed to drown out the unconditional love you once had for one another. To say it another way, when you were dating there was nothing between you that caused stress in your relationships like bills, kids, disagreements with family members that came between you, and your love for one another.
That love grew stronger because you spent time together doing things you both loved to do. Those things kept the magic alive, the relationship fresh, the love flowing, and the romantic feelings you felt.
You may be in a place of confusion, desperation, feeling trapped, and wanting a divorce and I’m not here to say it is an easy road back but if you want a marriage relationship based on faith, love, and trust you are going to have to think and act differently to make it happen.
I had to let go of the past and focus on the future I wanted
The healing started for me when I forgave my wife for all her past mistakes, flaws, negative words, and actions. Letting go of all the negative stuff I had let build-up for years and I began to train my mind to focus on the magic and love we started with on our wedding day. I started watching my wedding video and feeling the feeling I felt that day, seeing all the faces of the family and friends that were there to support us on that day.
You may be thinking by letting go you are being weak but in reality, when you let go you are freeing yourself from the prison that you unknowingly created for yourself in your mind, a place of focusing on everything your spouse does wrong and continuously gathering evidence that he doesn’t love you anymore because he says and does things that upset you but IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. We have been taught all our lives to focus on what is wrong. It is time to free yourself because you had the keys all along but were never shown how to use them.
What I found out when I started doing more research on this topic, I realized how much the relationship between our parents influences the way we view and relate to the opposite sex, and what is even crazier is it was being programmed into us unconsciously. Think about it you were around your parents for 18 years and observed the way they related to one another and if we don’t wake up we unknowingly repeat the behaviors of parents both negative and positive.
Now is the time to set yourself free. Repeat the following words and read them as many times as it takes to let go of your past and start new or make up your own words.
Source of all good, God, source universe, or creator of all that is good please forgive me for all of the past hurts I have caused my spouse and myself, my friends, and my family. I choose now to start a fresh new relationship with you and my husband or wife. I choose to focus on the good in my relationship and ask my spouse to forgive me for my negative thoughts, words, and actions that have caused pain in our relationship. I want to create something new that is built on a foundation of love and trust, give me the strength and allow me to have a brand-new start. Thank you for empowering me to be the best version of myself. Amen
Go to your partner and ask them for forgiveness for the things you did, said, and thought that caused separation in our relationship and how you want to create a new relationship that will live long into the future and allow us both to grow old together. If your partner doesn’t respond well don’t get alarmed it will take time for him to process what you shared. It will take time for your new ways of thinking to take root and become a habit, but I can promise you as you practice substituting the negative feelings and thoughts for feelings and thoughts of love you will begin to see each other again as that beautiful person you vowed to love honor and cherish til death do you part.
I will be sharing steps two through six of how to recapture the magic in your marriage in my next 5 posts.
If you need any support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. You can contact me through this link. https://linktr.ee/SaveMarriage